You Only Live Once  December 29th

So many times I’ve caught myself saying, “I haven’t done anything since my junior year of high school.” By that, I’ve always meant that I haven’t really tried to do anything; everything I did didn’t require all that much effort or initiative. Step outside of my comfort zone? Not something I did. Take a risk? Only if inactivity counts. That’s not how I want to live. Suddenly I feel rejuvenated, liberated, and possibly even ready to put myself out there and do something. Make a difference. Be someone.

On the way home from school, the idea of volunteering in a research laboratory over the summer popped into my head. I used to volunteer at the hospital where my dad works, and there were kids who volunteered in the labs. I remember being jealous of them, until I saw that they had 40+ hour weeks—all voluntary and unpaid, at that. It seemed like they didn’t have a summer vacation at all. Now those numbers don’t phase me or turn me away; in fact, I want to put in a ton of hours to be part of a research group. I think it would be a really good experience. Turns out that there is an undergraduate fellowship program there, in which college students are paid $3500 for 10 weeks of researching with one of the doctors. It’s a highly competitive program (there were kids from abroad, like from Scotland, for instance, who participated last year), and you have to be nominated by someone on the research team. While I really just planned on volunteering, this would obviously be more desirable… the matter is actually getting accepted!

So I’m trying to work up my resume and a cover letter before New Year’s. I’m interested in the work of this one guy who is like the head of nuclear medicine, so I’m hoping he would like to meet with me before I return to school for the spring semester in January. I’m so not impressive on paper right now, especially since I have no research experience yet—although this coming semester I am planning to do 2 credits worth!—and it’s a time like this when I wish all the stuff I did in high school still mattered. However, more importantly, it’s another push for me to get out there and do something. While complacency seems easy, in the long run, more effort is more rewarding. I’ve resolved to get my act together and push myself to do the things I want to do, ignoring the fear of failure or rejection that always holds me back from fulfilling my potential.

Some of these things are big, some are small, and others seem small but mean big things to me. Like telling my story. Building strong, genuine relationships with people. Being more personally invested in my students’ success. Actually exercising (somewhat) regularly. Striving to do my personal best. Yesterday I stumbled upon Gives Me Hope from one of Rachel’s tweets, and it’s all really inspiring and uplifting. I want to make a difference, too. And so can you. I want you to know that you already have to me…simply by reading my blog, commenting on my posts and pages, following me on Twitter, or communicating with me via Twitter or Plurk. It really makes my day to know that people who I don’t even know personally think enough of me to spend a few minutes seeing what I have to say. You rock!