Why I Do What I Do  January 6th

I realize I blogged earlier, but I’m kind of in a writing mood, and I don’t really know what to do with myself tonight. I suppose I could think more about what my specific goals are in a research lab, since Dr. Yu doesn’t have any bench work that I could do—but he is willing to refer me to others in the hospital. So I’ll give him a call tomorrow and see what happens. I may not do something that exactly tickles my fancy, but I’ve said before, if I were to go into research for realz, it would be in oncology. Whatever happens, it should be a good experience.

You see, I care about people. Sometimes I think I don’t; I have to remind myself that I’m not totally heartless, as if I’m really heartless at all. Anyway, that’s why I do the things I do. True, I love writing and this is a great outlet for me, but I also love making connections. I love to give back and share my time, just as you all are sharing your time with me right now. We’re a human network, and I like to believe that the little things we’re doing for each other online—sharing our stories and listening to others—really makes a difference. It does to me.

It’s also why I’m a scientist. I would never do well as someone researching alone for something that people can’t relate to. That’s why I said I would go into oncology; cancer can affect anyone and everyone. With chemistry, maybe we can create new compounds to treat it. Or maybe we can find new ways to detect it sooner. Chemistry isn’t just that shitty class you dread going to every day. It is the central science, and with science, we can do wonders.

And that is why I’m a teacher. Hopefully, fewer people will think of the sciences as useless and irrelevant—have you ever whined, “When am I ever going to uuuuuuuse this?”—once I’m done with them, and hopefully, just hopefully, I will change people’s lives just as many of my teachers have changed mine. I’m out to make a difference. And this complacency that has plagued me for the past… couple years, even, hasn’t allowed me to do that to the best of my ability. I teach kids physics. Do they all hate it at the end? Yeah, most of them. Do any of them appreciate it any more than when they started? Maybe one. And what about the kids I advise? What about them? What have I done?

So I’m out to make a difference, because I care about people. That’s what I’m doing here.